I Obviously Lack a Sense of Humor 2
Filed under: Eros - April 30, 2007 @ 2:12 pmA friend of mine got these t-shirts for he and his wife. Click thumbnail to enlarge.
Let’s look at the male version first. Notice how he looks like a stupid caveman - not exactly fuckable, is he? But that’s OK, cuz he just wants to drink beer and perpetuate stereotypes about women har har har!
#7 on the list: “When you finish with the beer, the bottle is still worth 10 cents.” - What is that supposed to mean? That when you finish fucking a woman she’s worthless? Isn’t it usually the other way around - that a guy is done once he has an orgasm, but a woman can keep going?
#8: “You don’t have to WASH a beer before it tastes good.” and #15: “You can enjoy beer ALL MONTH LONG!” - Oh sure, pussies are sooo skanky grosssss and if it bleeds you can’t touch it cuz it’s DIRTY. Um why not just wear a t-shirt listing why being gay is so much better than being straight? Cuz cock is so much cleaner and tastier, dontcha know. Like beer!
And as for #10: “You can share a beer with a friend.” and #14: “You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.” - Way to go, be possessive and monogamous and resentful because that’s what society taught you. Haven’t heard of swinging now, have you?
OK so now it’s the ladie’s turn. Notice how she’s stereotypically attractive (in an 80’s kind of way?) with her blonde hair and come hither look.
#1 on the list: “You can have more than one beer at a time.” - Now how stupid is that? WHO has two beers at once, and WHY can’t you have more than one man at a time?
#14: “You can have a quick beer on your lunch hour.” - Um, so WHY can’t you have a quick fuck on your lunch hour? And why is it more acceptable to come back buzzed and tired to the office instead of rejuvenated and giddy?
I need to come up with a “Why sex is better than anything” t-shirt.
PS: I drank a beer while I wrote this, but I’m not sure who I was supposed to be hating while I did so, since I’m bi.
April 30th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
That looks like some whack shit you would get at a truck stop in central Missouri.
Right on with your critique, they probably were written by some retarded trucker too.
April 30th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Actually, they were purchased in Texas…
May 1st, 2007 at 4:58 am
I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing hanging out with ‘friends’ who would wear these dorky shirts? Next you’ll tell us they also have t-shirts with opposing arrows and the phrase ‘I’m with Stupid’…=0)
May 1st, 2007 at 6:07 am
All right, I’ll confess (I was too embarrassed to admit that I’m RELATED to these people and so referred to them as friends) - these are my PARENTS shirts! My dad is a total dork. Does that explain it?
And you joke about the “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts but they do have a ton of really ridiculous t-shirts. My mom buys them at the mall and they say things like “Your village called - they want their idiot back” and “I’M STONED” (she doesn’t smoke pot) ???
May 1st, 2007 at 11:17 am
I’m sure the purveyors of these items have never heard of Strunk and White, yet I’m still appalled with the mistaken use of “your” for you’re in number 12.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:36 pm
i imagine someone who wears that shirt…er , a couple who would wear those shirts might also have matching tracksuits and walk to Starbucks together on a Sunday morning for their $4 cups of hot milk.