Fuck SUVs
Filed under: Eros - April 24, 2007 @ 4:14 pm
Last night I wore the very dress up in the header on a date. I had oysters (pussies on a platter!) and champagne (craved it after watching Marie Antoinette). Going in I had designs to have my way with the guy out in the parking lot immediately following dinner, so I went without panties (so much for the Panty Parade!)
I whispered dirty nothings in his ear at the restaurant, and we went out to his car to finish the conversation. He smirked and said, “You look sexy surrounded by the leather in my SUV.” Grrr that pissed me off - he knows I’m a hippie bitch.
I said, “Oh you like the contrast?”
“What contrast?”
“Of my living flesh against the dead flesh?”
“Whatever, it’s hot.”
I said, “Get in the back seat.”
“Why?” he feigned ignorance.
“Cuz I’m gonna replace this gross leather smell with pussy.”
He gave me a look, and without a word, got out of the car, opened the back door, slammed it behind him and slid to the middle of the seat, and stared challengingly at me. Now.
I climbed through the front seats and straddled his lap. I grabbed him by his hair, kissed him savagely, and pushed his face in my chest. I felt his hot breath on me. His cock leapt to life - I felt it underneath me, stabbing me. All I had to do was push my dress aside and yank his pants down in order to force myself down on him. I groaned as I went from aching to filled in a second. I rode him hard, my mind trained on our orgasms, a million miles from the parking lot, the SUV, and all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together.
I’ll never wear that dress again.
April 24th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
You rewarded the SUV-driving, leather-loving bastard with a ride with you? Why? You should have told him to take you str8 home. He’s a dumbass.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:19 am
GAWD, it’s so hard to explain my attraction to him! Chemistry is a wily, wicked thing…and eh, maybe my Pussy Power can influence him to buy a hybrid someday.
April 25th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Try THAT in a Prius.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:48 am
did you leave out the part where you dressed his penus in a condom?
April 25th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Ever since time immemorial, women have been sleeping with men to gain power, money, and prestige. I like the idea of sleeping with them to influence them to do good. Fucking for the greater good of mankind is sort of like a glorified Robin Hood stealing for the poor. We should find you a moniker, how bout Super Slut or Pussy Hero?
April 27th, 2007 at 8:45 am
He’s less likely to go veg and buy a hybrid if you STOP hanging out with him….I’m just sayin.
April 27th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Hmm, aren’t oysters technically dead flesh too?
Let’s see what Peta says:
Is it OK for vegetarians to eat shrimp?
There are certain creatures—like scallops, oysters, and shrimp—that we just don’t know a whole lot about. We aren’t sure how much pain and suffering they are capable of feeling. Here at PETA, we urge people to “err on the side of compassion.” Since we don’t know for sure that these creatures can’t suffer, we opt to assume they do and act accordingly.
An equally pressing reason to avoid sea “food” of all kinds is the issue of bycatch. When fishers seek a certain quarry, they often injure and kill other sea creatures in the process. In the case of shrimp, sea turtles are often caught and killed in the shrimp nets. This is a huge contributor to the decline in the sea turtle population.
Another reason to avoid eating sea creatures of any kind is the fact that overfishing has had a devastating effect on the world’s oceans. This means that food is scarce not only for humans, but also for the other animals, such as seals, dolphins, and sea birds, who survive on what they catch in the sea. When we catch huge quantities of sea creatures, we reduce the food source for these animals, who, unlike most humans, truly must consume fish and other sea creatures in order to survive.
April 27th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
You’re right Justin, when you put it that way, SUV guy and I are PERFECT for each other!