A Solution for Tanning Beds
Filed under: Vexed - April 13, 2007 @ 9:16 amTanning beds are gross. Check out this model’s lovely orange skin that clashes nicely with her light yellow hair.
Back in the day when I was a stripper, I was forced to tan a few times, so I’ve been in one of these light-up coffins and know how darn relaxing it is to bask in one. It’s like a lovely warm womb.
So I propose that instead of using them to cause cancer and turn people funny colors, we convert them all into masturbation parlors. They can replace the horrid ultrabright lights with porn installed in the roof for in-your-face viewing.
That’s what a lot of the guys who use them do anyway - they ogle the hot front desk receptionist and then retire to the back rooms and whack off in a towel thinking of her.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
You give guys too much credit… we’d never use a towel.
April 15th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Kinda like to oragasmatron in Sleeper.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:50 am
well that explains why they’re harboring all that nasty bacteria.