Let’s Party
Filed under: Deserving - April 2, 2007 @ 4:46 amHere are three parties I want to attend but not necessarily host, but will if I have to:
- Office Space Party. BYOF (Bring Your Own Flair). A water cooler will be placed in the center of the room to encourage discussion about sports or TV shows. Movie to play silently in the background. Everyone has to dress professionally. All men must wear a tie. A dry erase board will be present for writing filthy words and pictures. Performance reviews will be conducted. Food to be catered by Chevy’s or TGI Friday’s. A new dance will be invented called “The Cubicle.” Everyone must drink surreptitiously via flasks or styrofoam coffee cups. Tic Tacs will be available in candy dishes to represent anti-depressant medication. 
Games will include “Pin the Post-It Notes on the Genitals,” “Office Bingo,” and “Find the Stapler.” Whoever finds the hidden stapler gets to smash the fax machine out back.
- Blue Moon Party. To be held on the evening that the second full moon appears in a single calendar month. 1935 film to play silently in the background. Everyone must wear all blue. Music selection to feature any song with the words “blue” or “moon.” Blue Moon beer served. Blue cheese and moon pies as hors d’oeuvres. Slow dancing 1950’s style only. Anything done “once in a blue moon” encouraged, such as anal sex, getting high, or getting in a fistfight.
- Pink Flamingos Party. Everyone must dress as trashy as possible. Movie to play loudly and incessantly. Gay porn to play on another TV in the house. “A Date With John Waters” CD to play in another part of the house. Pink flamingo decorations. Thrift store mannequins to supplement as guests. Hard boiled eggs and brownies shaped as dog shit served as appetizers. Psychadelic drugs and toe sucking encouraged. A moment of silence observed for Divine. Games will include “How Filthy Can You Be?” “Impersonate Your Favorite Celebrity Death” and “Fuck the Chicken.” “Singing Asshole” competition to be held. Prize is a miniature electric chair.
April 2nd, 2007 at 11:16 am
Great ideas! How did you come up with such extensive party ideas?
April 2nd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Would you attend a Shortbus party if some hot bi-dude threw one?
April 2nd, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I’m game for at least the first 2…some really good ideas! I may even be persuaded to host, maybe….Feel free to bribe me. LOL
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I’ve been thinking about hosting a cocktail party and having gay porn run in my small second bedroom. But I don’t have nearly enough space to do a full-on Pink Flamingos Party, it should be done though, and John Waters would need to be invited.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:48 am
Boy has my life become boring! All I can seem to think of right now is that I have a copy of the TPS cover sheet somewhere here on my laptop…
April 4th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Let’s do it May 31st! http://www.obliquity.com/astro/blue2007.html
April 9th, 2007 at 4:36 am
I like all of these ideas. Especially the Blue Moon one. And I love that beer. I always loved the idea of a Vicars and Tarts party too. The Arch Rivals were having a Pimps and Ho’s party which for some reason sounded kind of vulgar and uncreative to me (not that I have a problem with vulgarity–but uncreativity is the ultimate sin IMO).