Thank God They Were in the Shower
Filed under: Eros - January 25, 2007 @ 5:02 am
My friend was showering with her husband. They were making out and getting frisky. Her husband reached down to slip his hand between her legs, but she had to fart. She fleetingly considered moving away, but didn’t want him to think she wasn’t down with where things were going, so she let him part her legs slightly and…a big wet fart reverberated in the shower.
She was mortified, but they had a good laugh over it. Then she offered to let him cum on her face to make up for it. Ooh he didn’t get to do that very often, so he took her up on it. Afterwards she asked him if it was hot. His reply: “Well, the anticipation of doing it was good, but then when it actually happened, your eyes were squinched up so tight that it was just funny.”
January 27th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Ha! How can the wife be mortified over farting in front of her husband? Husband jacking it on his wife’s face = not silly but wife accidentally ripping one in the shower = embarrassing?
People are so fucking strange sometime.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Reply to DH: jacking is beautiful. Farting is gross.
March 3rd, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Great story. Just to clarify for the first commenter… the two activities compared are very, very different.
In our culture, one is commonly perceived to be inconsiderate and rude when passing gas in front of your significant other (or in front of your office mates in a formal staff meeting at work for that matter). It will generally show the others that you don’t care about them even enough for basic courtesy and respect.
Consensual sex play is an intimate act between a couple (or more) and is not in any way, shape, or form related to being rude or disrespectful to others.
This is what many people (mostly guys) don’t realize when they brag to their friends about “getting comfortable” with your new spouse when you feel ok passing gas or do something perceived as equally unappealing in the middle of the living room. Might as well pee in the living room too while you’re at it, just find an empty beer bottle and you’re good to go. Yep, something to look forward to. Very sexy.
That would also be a perfect time to set your clock on when exactly your sex life started going downhill - because you decided that the other person wasn’t even worth the effort for basic courtesy anymore. And this downward spiral’s next stop is the sex-once-a-month if-you’re-lucky and anyone is still even remotely excited about their partner.
The moral here is simple… if you want to keep having hot sex with your spouse after the first 2 months together, then keep doing what you were doing in your first 2 months together. Actually take the time to give a damn about how you look and smell, and treat her as if she matters. Ladies, same for you - although this tends to be a largely male affliction.
In fact, you have to try HARDER later in the relationship than you did in the beginning, because you won’t be riding that emotional (chemical) high that you had in the beginning.