The Beautiful Kind

Went to Chicago this weekend. Why I loved it:

1. Stayed in a gay doc’s 46th floor penthouse in the heart of downtown (see view.) Entertained thought of jumping off balcony.

2. Found his gay porn stash yesss (”Colt tensed his stomach muscles as he…”)

3. Was surrounded by Beautiful Boys.

4. Had a lot of New - met new people, experienced new places.

5. Went to that diner famous for being rude to customers, only our server wasn’t rude cuz she was into my friend. And she had really cute socks.

6. Went to see the King Tut exhibit at the Field Museum but it was sold out. Then I found out the boy king mummy wasn’t even there, which made this woman queen happy she didn’t pay $$ to browse his trinket tomb stash. Instead, wandered the wings of taxidermy, flooded the senses with komodo dragons, man-eating lions (”you know, that movie with Val Kilmer“), tiger bones, and then topped it off with a leisurely dark and sparkling gem stroll.

7. Went to trippy touristy Rainforest Cafe and got one of those ridiculous light up glasses that give you seizures.

8. Breakfasted at seedy Ohio Diner. Ate toast as wall-eyed waitress with hickey repeatedly admonished her sullen pre-teen daughter in the ratty sweater to read the young adult novel assigned in class.

9. Ate at Chicago Diner, vegan comfort food, pomegranate wine, cozy booth, *heart*!

10. Shopped for gifts for my daughter at GayMart. Got her Afro Ken, a Teddy Scare, and a Chihuahua Jabba the Hutt (see Kiddo page for visuals.)

11. Flashed the unwilling at a smoky blues bar. Ha ha ha ha ha!

12. Saw a play and hung out with the cast afterwards and drank Guinness. Got more acquainted with the Guinness than the cast, but hey, I’m shy. And thirsty.

13. Talked about pizza all fucking weekend, but never ate any (passed out at 3:30am before it arrived via delivery - holy shit a real city!)

14. Ended the weekend with seeing Borat! at the Chase (”Happy Times!”), safely tucked back in the desolate (by comparison) city of St. Louis.