The Beautiful Kind

Dr. Seuss wrote oodles of children books in the 1960’s with some timeless messages. The Lorax was an environmentalist who spoke for the trees. Horton the Elephant held his own against societal pressure, never wavering from his conviction that “a person’s a person, no matter how small.”

And then there’s Gertrude McFuzz, one of my favorites. I should read this book every time I start to think spending thousands of dollars to cut into my chest wall and insert water balloons is a good idea. Vain Gertrude is a bird unhappy with her one tail feather, and wishes she looked more like Lolla-Lee-Lou, who, with two feathers, is more endowed.

One droopy-droop feather. That’s all that she had.
And, oh! That one feather made Gertrude so sad.

Wanting her tail to grow, she seeks a doctor’s advice.

“Tut tut!” said the doctor. “Such talk! How absurd!
Your tail is just right for your kind of bird!”

Gertrude persists, and finally he tells her of a pill-berry vine. Although the berries taste terrible, she gobbles them down. She sprouts lots of feathers, and things get out of control. Before long, she finds herself weighed down with a large, unwieldy plume. In the end, after a lot of plucking, Gertrude, once consumed with envy, learns to be content with her one cute feather.

Oh fine, I’ll stick with padded bras and save the money for my kid’s college.