The Beautiful Kind

I’ve had many profound life experiences that no doubt have made me a stronger person - a mentally ill mother, the death of a sibling, stripping, travel, marriage, miscarriage, giving birth, breastfeeding, being a parent, the death of a dear friend, and divorce, to name a few - but one thing I haven’t yet experienced is prison life.

I daydream about the crime I would commit in order to take my state paid vacation. Robbing a bank would be exciting and classic. Liberating animals from a lab would be radical. Vandalizing SUVs parked at the mall would be great fun. I would want at least a six month sentence, but no more than a year. And then house arrest for another four months or so would be lovely.

Just think - no more driving. Rooming with tough broads that could teach me a lot. Library carts wheeled right by my cell, comfy jumpsuits, plenty of time to write letters to my fans, I could finally get that tattoo I’ve always wanted, lights out at 10pm, clandestine lesbian sex…I could take some college courses and maybe even find god!

But for now, the closest connection I have to the joint is this inmate television I scored at a flea market. The black and white set is made of clear plastic to prevent stashing drugs. Click to enlarge. Awesome!