Why Do Rednecks Hit on Me?
Filed under: Vexed - October 24, 2006 @ 4:43 pm
I’m sick of rednecks hitting on me. Am I unknowingly making trailer eyes at them? I don’t think I look like their type - I don’t have yellow hair or ugly tattoos.
For instance, last month when I moved into my new place, one of the movers, a 42-year-old guy with way less teeth than I’m used to, invited me to go to a thong contest at some redneck bar he frequents. I pretended to misunderstand him, saying, “You like DONG contests?”
So last night I was at the grocery store and this redneck flirted with my daughter as a way to get to the hot MILF. (moi!) He followed us through the store, asking for help finding the mandarin oranges, explaining that he’s making HIS baby Jell-O. I was like, “Dude, this is not a date. I’m here to pick up cereal, not serial killers.”
The bottom line is, I don’t want to be someone’s step up. The people I’m with have to be a step up for ME.
