The Beautiful Kind

At first, the thought of a well-groomed man with good fashion sense and attention to things like curtains appealed to me. Then I slowly discovered that these men get manicures and wax their asses and hate women, though if you were to tell them that they would be shocked. Denial is more than a river in Egypt, let me tell you. These guys are so deep in the closet they need a cologne trail to find their way out.

Helpul tips for the ladies: If a guy has more than one pair of glasses, watch out. If a guy only wears special designer undies from New York, back away. And if you grab on to the guy’s ass you’re having sex with and it’s smooth as a billiard ball, go ahead and scream right in his ear.

Give me your scruffy, your uncoordinated, your sweet, your clueless. Nothing warms my heart like a little beard stubble and a thrift store t-shirt.

GQ can fuck off.