I Hate Balloons
Filed under: Vexed - October 24, 2006 @ 4:46 pm
Goddamn I hate balloons, and when you have a kid, they tend to hit your radar screen. I hate how they squeak, pop, the unlubricated latex…
The other day we were at a party and there were balloons, and of course my daughter grabbed one and wanted to take it home with her. The thing is, what do you DO with a balloon besides let it go and have some duck choke on it out in the wild? So I said to her, “Are you sure you want to take that with us? Why don’t you leave it here?” So she turns to the people behind us and hands them the balloon, explaining, “Here, you can have this. My mom doesn’t like balloons.”
“Well, WE do,” they huffed supportively, as if hinting that I was a bad mother and a real killjoy for not liking something as fun as a balloon. Dude, I let my kid get in the tub with all her clothes on and make fairy houses and eat pancakes for lunch. I know how to have fun without a stupid balloon.
April 28th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Balloons are beautiful, soft and smooth. Balloons have a magical quality that makes them come alive for me. I have had inflated Balloons last for nearly 2 years and that makes me feel so special.